Monday, June 7, 2010


I don't have much freedom when I was young if compared to my siblings now. Back then, an outing to town would required an interrogation process from my parents. The usual questions were: Where are you going? With who? Who else? For what? For how long? and the list goes on. Sometimes I didn't even bother to go out. Just imagine, I'm not allowed to talk on the phone with guys and strictly no phone call after 8pm and the bedtime was 9pm sharp. 

Looking back, I don't resent the restrictions from my parent. It shapes who I am today and I much appreciate the freedom I gained (though there were some wild days). At least I know my limits and coming back to the track after falling off. I wish my parents would do the same to the siblings. Seeing that their eldest child growing up good (of course there are some things that my parents do not know and I like to keep it that way. :) ) they starting to loosen up with the siblings. It's a good thing they trust them but another thing to completely give them the total freedom.

The siblings are blessed with almost everything now. A touchscreen hand phone at a tender age of 14, a personal computer in their room, new clothes almost every months. I may sound bitter here but honestly I don't. (Okay, maybe a little bit) Those were not the things that bother me. What bothers me is the freedom they have. No more curfew for them, no more restriction about their outing. I get it, this is not a boarding school but hey, these stuffs are very important. Count me old fashion and so motherly, but I don't like the idea of my siblings wandering outside in the dark after 10 pm. I'll get worry and super piss off by their irresponsible act. I hate it even more when you're trying to talk sense into them but the're talking back or worst, act indifferent. 

I treasure the relationship that I have with my siblings and I count myself lucky because they listened to me when I'm lecturing them. (Geez, I sound so old) I guess I'm just an overprotective sister but in a good way though, I insist it is. Because when they had grown up and looking back, they will realized why I did so, why I sound like a nagging mom. But I think I should let loose with them and let them make some mistakes that hopefully will teach them a great lesson in life. Because that is how I learnt, how I'm growing up.Trust me, you'll never learn until you had made a mistake. You need to get knock down  to treasure what's around you. That is the most valuable lesson I had learnt. For now, I'm crossing my fingers on the teenagers rebellion. Let's hope the siblings do not catch that. *finger crosses* I'm not gonna say that I'm perfect, I'm way too far from perfect. I had my rebellious moment too but lucky I still have some sense in myself and managed to find my way back after wandering off. Honestly, I didn't regret any of that. But the thought of the siblings go to the same path, being a rebel child, I just couldn't bear it.

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