What I'm thankful for

Thanksgiving just passed for a few days but I think it is still appropriate to pen down things that I'm thankful for. Now that I've grown older and wiser, I realized that grateful is the key to happiness. Not trying to be preachy la but I've found that feeling grateful and thankful has help me to feel better and happier.

1) Smooth pregnancy
Okay, this is of course is on top of my list. I'm 4 weeks away from my due date and so far everything has been smooth for me. Albeit some hiccups during the last trimester, everything else is doing fine especially my baby. My baby is right on track for her development except that she's in breech position now and we probably will see her earlier if she's still not turning till next week.


2) The husband

I have to say the husband is the reason that I'm at ease and feeling stress-free during this pregnancy. He's been really good and always putting me as priority. Although there are times when things are challenging for both of us, I'm glad that we worked it out. Now that we're becoming parents, I can see the obvious changes in the husband. Last time our priority would be planning holidays, eyeing gadgets and went out having fun. But now he is all about saving for future and looking for more opportunity to improve our financial so that he can provide the best for our child and me. Yeah, you will start to worry about future when you have child even though she's still in the oven baking.

3) My family

Distance makes the heart grow fonder and it is true in this case. My siblings are all in different districts now due to work commitment and study and we all grow closer than ever now that we're not living together anymore wtf. We even talked more and texted more now which brings all of us closer than ever.

4) The opportunity to travel

I'm so grateful that I got a job that pays the bill and let me have the freedom to travel the world. The addiction to travel started when I got my first paycheck and I always set myself to visit at least 3 countries per year. So far I have been good except for this year because I have to forfeit my trip to Perth but for a very good reason (I'm heavily pregnant during the travel period). And my plan for next year is looking good with two trips confirmed but I'm still hoping to squeeze in more holidays even with baby.  

Disneyland Hong Kong

Angkor Wat Cambodia

Bali

Krabi

5) My friends

I don't have a lot of friends but I have a handful of friends that I know I can count on. And these are the people that I had known for more than 10 years. We had been through a lot from hitting puberty to first love and now figuring out adulthood. Having these friends around really makes my life happier and livelier. 

All of my thankful points are probably sound cliche but it is true. These are what I'm really thankful for. All of the above made up a big part of my life and add meaning to it. 

Be happy and grateful

I have not writing any personal musing on this site for quite sometimes. I have no idea why but maybe it is because I still have so many back log travel stories to share. But today I'm going to write about something really personal.

Life has been quite tough for me lately and I was not sure what was wrong up until recently. Since I was young till now, I was generally a happy person, I took bad things with a pinch of salt and completely forgot about them soon afterward and be happy again.

When I was happy, I realized that everything in my life turned out good for me. It is like the universe is aligned to make happy thing happened for me. I didn't realized about this until I read The Secret by Rhonda Byrne recently. I knew about The Secret 2 years ago when I read Xiaxue's post about it. I was dealing with difficult situation and practiced The Secret to overcome it. And yes, it worked.

Few days ago, I read The Secret book and now I fully understood how it works because believe it or not, I have been practicing gratitude since I was young. My family is not fully Christian but I was exposed to Christian teaching since young. Every night before I went to bed, I would pray to God and talked about my day and thanked him for the good things that happened to me. Subconsciously, I was practicing Gratitude. My life thus far has been very good and I'm happy and content with it.

Not sure what happened but since 2012, I had stopped praying before bed. Life still work out well for me but I forgot to say thanks. In The Secret, the author mentioned that if you want something, you should ask for it, be thankful to receive it. It also mentioned Law of attraction in the book which means that you attract what you feel in your life.

For example, if your thoughts are happy and jovial, you will attract more happy things to happen in your life but if your thoughts are bitter and sad, more sad or unfortunate things will happen to you. This statement I believe wholeheartedly. I have seen people complaining about their life all the time and nothing has changed for them except that things get worst. It is because they always said negative statements such as "I don't have enough money", "My workload never finish", "I am fat" etc, they are sending the Universe those messages and yes they will receive more of those things,

So instead of being Negative Nancy all the time, why don't be positive and say something like "Money will come by easily", "I will clear my backlog job today", "I'm getting the body that I want". Of course just by sending this positive message is not enough, you have to believe in your affirmation and visualize yourself receiving it.

One of the most important lesson that I have learn from The Secret is to be happy and grateful. It mentioned that thoughts translate into things. To have happy thoughts, first you must have good emotion because it is impossible to have happy thoughts if your emotion is the opposite. The joy is within yourself so you must find it, be contend and grateful for all the things in your life, be it small or big. If you want people to like you, first you yourself must like your own traits. Then the Law of Attraction will attract more people to like you. But say real one, if you are a positive person to be around with, for sure more people will enjoy your company.

Right now when I'm faced with any difficult things, I would just brush it off and turn it into something positive. I no longer dwell on sad things but instead focus on being happy and positive. Think about something that make you happy, a happy memories, a funny jokes, your favorite song and surely you will feel a whole lot better.

What I want to say is that you are in charge of your life. How you want your life to be is up to you, ask from The Universe and you shall receive it. Keep your thoughts and emotion happy so that more happy things will come to your life.

My first ever solo trip oversea

The story of how I ended up with my first ever solo trip oversea is a stupid one. It is started off as sweet getaway with my bf. I briefly told him that we should visit Bali sometimes and he nodded yes. Came the day Airasia announced its promotion, I was online looking at flight ticket.

Sure enough, it was cheap. Less than RM270 for a return flight. Scored! So, I texted him to confirm and guess what! He took forever to reply as I need to confirm the date for travelling, my patience was wearing thin.

In the end, I did booked the flight but only for myself.

Fast forward one year later (yes, I booked my flight a year earlier), the bf still haven't book his flight and the date for my trip is drawing closer. One day I was scrolling Facebook and stumbled upon a video about things-to-do-before-settle-down and it mentions travelling solo.Link here as I have no idea how to embed the video here.

So I challenge myself to go ahead with the trip and get out of my comfort zone. I had prepared myself for this solo trip by reading tons of articles and research about Bali.

Generally Bali is a safe place for a solo female traveler but I don't want to take anything for granted. At least not my safety. I've spent hours on the net reading travelling post on Bali and even Googled-view the street of Bali.

When I touched down in Ngurah Rai International Airport and anxiously walked past the immigration counter, "I am in a new place on my own" this thought crept into my mind. The fear only came when I saw my driver from the hotel pick me up.

Lots of "what if" ran in my head. What if my driver kidnap me? What if he drove me somewhere and rape me? What if he rob and murder me? I have no data plan, I can't text my friends and family at home. Oh my God, they gonna find out about my murder on the news"

I got carried away with my what if as you can see. It was a drizzled Saturday night and the traffic was bad. We drove through some dark alleys, short cuts I supposed and my panic grew.

After what it felt like an eternity (half an hour actually) we reached the bustling city of Kuta. When my hotel came in sight, I was so relieved. That was the only panic attack that I got for my first ever solo trip. Afterward, I blend in like other tourist immersing myself with Bali.

Happy and contented

I had an awesome time on my own exploring Bali. The only time that I'm looking forward to come home was when I'm running out of Rupiah. True story, I don't even have enough Rupiah to purchase a bottle of Coke which I had to return to the counter when I realized I had no more money on me. I blame it all on the touts at the Kuta beach. But that's another story for me to tell another time.

05.08.2014

It's been awhile since I update my blog regularly about what's happening in my life. I miss that kind of update, you know just me writing down the flow of my thoughts. I've learnt to be an introvert after some some breakdowns that I had in recent months. 2014 so far has been a quite tough year for me. But on the bright side, I become stronger and more independent than before. I've stopped putting my happiness in other people hand and finally take control of my own life without feeling the guilt of not doing what others expecting me to do.

Despite all the pain and betrayal that I've felt, I'm thankful for everything that I have today. It is true when they say your thought will shape your mood and your day. If you have happy and positive thoughts, everything will seem brighter and even the universe is on your side and vice versa. So instead of drowning in my sorrow, I decided to always look at the bright side and be thankful.

1) I'm thankful that I have a good job that pays well enough to enjoy my life. I'm so grateful that I have great colleagues and boss that respect me and treat me good. Plus, my job is not as stress as others.

2) I'm thankful that I have great health and pray that I will continue to be in great health. When it comes to exercise, I has been slacking so much since the beginning of the year but luckily I'm always in the great state of health although there still some stubborn baby fats and shabby body parts.

3) I'm thankful that I am able to travel and see the world. Although I've only been to a couple places, I have some great travelling plans lining up till 2016. So I'm really counting my blessing and want to earn more money so that I can go see another part of the globe. Finger cross I'll make it happen.

4) I'm thankful that I have some great friends that stay by my side. These companies are my real pillar of strength. These are the people that listen to my breakdown and wipe my tears. I'm glad I have found true friendship.

5) I'm happy that I have slowly redecorate my room the way I always wanted it to be. Off white furniture with floral bedding. Is it weird that new bedding and nicely done bed makes me happy? Lol. Every time I came back from work and go into my room, I always instantly feel happy when everything is nicely in place. Omg, I have an OCD. hahahhaha

Count your blessing, not your problems.

Catching up

Normally around this time every year, I will talk about my birthday celebration. But not this year. Because my paternal grandmother passed away 3 days before my birthday and I was away at my kampung with my family for her funeral. And we're still in our mourning process. So I didn't get any celebration done. And that explain my late reply for the birthday wishes especially on Facebook.

Not trying a be a whiny brat but I'm so glad to be back at my own home now. Staying for a week in kampung is literally torturing me. If you've been reading my blog since 2009 (can't you believe I've have this blog for 5 years already?) you would have know that I hate my kampung. a) There's nothing that I can do there, no internet, no Astro. b) I hate kampung food and I always ended up with gastric c) no friends. Everyone around my age are mostly married with kids and I'm not on the same page with them.

It been a week since the passing of my grandma. We start to move on with our daily life. I'm not very close with my grandma once I'm growing up. When I was little, i enjoyed her company very much. She used to tell her grandchildren old folk tales as our bedtime stories. She would bring us with her to go fishing. Though it was pointless because with us around, she never catch anything. We're too loud and would swam there. In fact, she's the one that teach me to swim.

By throwing me into the river and left me flapping my way to the bank. Thanks Grandma. It still feel surreal that she's gone now.

Rest in peace, Inik.

We're going back again this Friday for the ending of the mourning process (ngetas ulit) and lots of my cousins will be there, so I foresee a great bonding weekend with them. Other than that, I'm picking myself up slowly to recover from my grandma passing, catching up with work and disappointment of the bf for forgetting my birthday (!).

But thank God for great friends, I still got lots of wishes and Miao and Sara took me out for an early birthday dinner and gave me great gifts that I absolutely love. And according to the bf, my birthday gift is included in my Christmas gift as well as my Valentine gift. ='=

Gifts from my girl friends

Reunited with my love

He seemed so happy when we picked him up when we're back. Poor little fella must have thought that we abandon him because he's been really clingy afterward. Lol

Things I want to do in 2014

So, it's been 5 days into 2014 and I had been meaning to write this post few days ago but I want to carefully plan things that I want to do in 2014. I don't want it to be some sort of same old resolutions which I forgot few days later. This time I'm wanna take baby steps in executing my plan and my list only contains things that doable for me. Small stuffs that I've been meaning to do but procrastinate till I forgot.

Here goes my list:

1) With that being said, first thing that I want to do in 2014 is to stop procrastinate. I have lots of ideas and things that going on in my mind but I never jot it down or I'd tell myself that I'll do it later. In the end, none of my plans ever got executed simply because I already forgot about it.

2) I want to be more patience especially on the road. Everyone whom know me personally know that I'm a bitchy person on the road. I cursed and drove aggressively when I encountered moron drivers. Now I want to get rid of this habit slowly though because being mad on the road is not good for my blood pressure and I just don't want to curse anymore.

This photo serves no purpore, I'm just vain

Okay, back to my list.

3) I have zero cooking skills and the bf and my family know this well. So I thought it's time for me to start surfing recipe online and practicing my cooking skill. This is not something that I can master in just few days, but I'll start with something simple maybe.

4) I want to blog more. It's a constant struggle to find time to write a proper blog post these day but I want to keep this space alive with my memories.If you're interested, I write almost everyday in my Dayre, mostly my nonsense rants.

5) I want to eat healthy. Maybe start with green juice and more vegetables and fruits in my diet. I know this is going to be the hardest challenge ever for me but I need to keep my body clean for my own sake. Oh yeah, I need to exercise also. (Sorry, this one is my never accomplish resolution every year).

6) I wanna spend more time with my loved ones, especially Pino. I feel like I had been neglected him a lot. I rarely take him out for walk anymore and he's kinda distance himself from me too after the incident where he bit me last year.

So far, those are the things that I want to do in 2014. Of course, save more money, travel more and bla bla bla still on my list but I feel like that's my resolution every year for the past 2 years. So no need to write down already.

 I'm really excited for what '14 has in store for me. Hopefully, it's a great year for everyone.

Vero's Wedding

A week late update on my best friend from Uni, Vero's wedding reception.

Because I got sick the day after her reception because when you got the chance to reunite

with your party friends after years of not partying together, you will

simply ignore the fact that you're too old to party hard like before.

Who said growing up old is fun?

With my dayung/flatmate in Uni/best friend, Angie

The newlywed, Vero & Lester

It was a great and intimate reception and we're so happy to finally meet up with everyone from Uni again.

Last time I saw all of them was during our graduation day and now everyone scatters around Sarawak settling down with our jobs.

The three of us <3 p="">

I really miss living together with the girls, we practically glued together during our final year in Uni.

If you been reading my blog since yearss ago, you probably had read lots of our adventures together.

Bern, me, Vero and Angie 

My ootd

Dress: Lil Sis's

Necklace: Bangkok

Heels: Emilio Valentino

This is my friends all from Uni <3 much="" p="" so="" them="">

We were seated at two tables next to each other but apparently we hated being separated and began cramming together at one table. Typical us lol.

Fred and wife

Dez and Angie

And a selfie of me to end the blog

I'm so happy that one of my best friend is trying the knot with the love of her life now. It just feel like yesterday we were going to classes together and now we are all knowing and starting a new chapter in our life. Cheers to a new phase <3 p="">

2013 resolutions

So, it's time for me to put up my 2013 resolutions here. This is not exactly a resolution for me, it's more like the goals that I want to achieve this year. Last year, my resolution is simple. to save more money and to travel more. I won't say I'm doing good for both of it but I think I was not doing bad either. I've traveled to Singapore for a short weekend in June (you can check it out on the right side bar labelled Singapore) and Bangkok in December (which I haven't finish blog about yet).

And for this year, I want to travel more. I really really love going to a new place and discover new culture, trying new food and of course, having some self discovery during journey like this. With that said, I've already planned my vacations for first half of 2013. I'm so excited for this :)

My other resolutions/goals are going to be simple and hopefully I can stick by it as good as I can.

1. To travel more as I wrote up there.
2. To be financially secured which means save more and no more dragging my credit card payment and start paying my student loan.
3. To love myself more. I kinda aware that I'm getting older so my skin and health condition may not be as tip top as it was before. Therefore, this is the year that I'm going to be health conscious and delay my aging wtf.
4. To start my own side earning.
5. To move somewhere out of the country. This sound bizarre but I have always wanted to live in other countries, so finger cross for this. Bf, please make this happen for me <3 p="p">

I hope by writing these goals in this space will help to remind me what I want to achieve this year and tick everything off by the end of 2013, you know kinda like the secret of The Secret.

Cheers to the fresh new start!

Thank you

I've come to a realization that I almost take things for granted these days. When I achieved something, I always think to myself that I deserve it. I may have been working my ass off for it but it was not my effort alone that made me what I am today.

It's the blessing from people around me.
It's the guidance from my parents and family.
It's the constant support from my friends.

Really, without them, I'm nothing.

Sometimes, I feel so blessed to have these people in the life that I'm overwhelm with happiness. I'm somewhat is an introvert person and seldom speak my thoughts aloud let alone showing it. Only with my closest circle of friends and family, I show my true self.

My sisters always say that I have no feeling. What they mean actually is I show no emotion of sadness or excitement (for people only because I have soft spot for animals especially for dogs). Don't get it wrong tho, I show no emotion if that incident has nothing to do with me. Even if it does (like a bad break up), I still choose to show no emotion at all because I choose not to be affected by it.

Maybe I'm just not the type of person who show everything on their face. But I realized I only did that to my extended family members. Be it a good news or bad news, I always show straight face, I guess I take after my dad.

Some goes to gratitude. I feel blessed and happy deep down in my heart, I'm just bad at expressing this to my family. But I guess it still show in my face, my smile when I'm with them.

Thank you to everyone whom had been nice and loving towards me. And thank you to the bf who has been really patience with me whenever I throw my tantrum or having my mood swing. Thanks to my parents too, whom love me unconditionally.

So, this is what I'm thankful for for this rather belated Thanksgiving. What's yours? :)

Self-conflict

I have not really put much of my thought here as of late, am I? Well, tonight is one of those rare nights where I feel like pouring my heart content out here. But I'm not sure whether this post will make it to the "publish" button, we'll see about that.

When I was in front of my computer pretending to be busy at work, my mind was wandering somewhere else, taking alone my soul with it. I often wonder, what's the world out there look like, feel like? Must be more comforting than where I was sitting right now. That's my thoughts on a typical working day. The mundane routine of working is leaving my dry. Maybe a little excitement along the way is what I need. 

Sometimes, I wish I could just leave everything behind and explore what's the world has to offer for me out there. I want to be carefree, I want to take risk, I want experience life. I'm at my prime time to do what I've put in my bucket list now. Clock is ticking and time is passing, but I'm nowhere near ticking off anything from my bucket list.

I don't want to waking up in regret one morning for the things that I didn't do. I had a conversation with my bestie about growing up. It was a pretty scary realization. You are becoming an adult, parents are growing old and your kids siblings are no longer kids. What have you done all this time? What have you achieved? Are you where you're imagined yourself to be years ago?

I myself can't seem to find the answer for those questions. Maybe there are no answer at all, after all you decide your own path in life. It is a never ending self conflict, I guess. You want things go your way but you don't want to work for it. You plan your day, things goes wrong and you get upset. Being upset is your choice, more often that not, we overuse the term "look at the bright side" without actually apply it in our daily life.

Maybe, just maybe all we need is someone to tell us it is okay to screw up. A little comfort like this goes a long way.

I'm not making sense, am I? Just like life, it doesn't have to make sense.

To do Master or not?

It's been awhile since I really pour my thought into this space of mine. I was having writer block and been kept busy for good since August. Too many things had happened in the past month till I get lazy to capture the memory in this space. For once, I decided to just live in the moment, enjoying it while it last rather than busy transferring my pictures to my laptop and drafting a post about my day late at night. I've picked cuddling over writing hehehe


Recently I just got back from Kuching for rather short but sweet work trip. Since I had a few hours to loiter around before heading to airport, I stopped by my uni. The last time I was there was a year ago for my graduation.

Most of my friends are doing their Master now and during my visit, they were taking part in a conference. Coincident much, I came by during lunch time. Thick-skinned me joined the rest of the participants and lecturers for their lunch buffet.

The very same hall where I got my graduation hall last year

I met most of my lecturers at the buffet, it's good to know that they still doing great though all of them were shocked that I completely work in a different field from my study. My thesis supervisor even trying to talk me into doing Master.

I never give Master much thought, to be honest. I was super excited after graduation and couldn't wait to kick start my career. I guess at the moment, money and career are my priority, I think I had have enough of sampling, collecting data and writing article. It was a great experience and I already published my research into article. That's one achievement off my list.

I have so much more to tick off my list but not Master now. Maybe someday in the future, who knows? To my friends whom doing their Master now, good luck and do your best, guys. Be one of the awesome researchers, alright? :)

1st year

This post was written on 26 July and I forgot to post it up. 

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Yesterday marked exactly one year that I’ve been stepping into the real world and started working. In this one year span, I’ve jumped field once. Leaving behind my banker job and stepped into a new but relatively related field.

What have I learnt in this one year? Well, the obvious would be how satisfying it is to be financially independent, though sometimes it can be quite tough as well. No more financial support from my dad would means I have to plan my budget carefully (truth is, I failed every months, ops!)

I would say I’m quite lucky to land myself a job even before my graduation. Many claimed that everything came easy to me because I’m a girl. Pftttttt… discrimination! Don’t they know that you have to work hard for something if you want it? Same principle applied when looking and landing a job. But frankly speaking, being a girl does have it own advantages (and disadvantages too).

Being a fresh graduate with zero background in my field, I have way too many things to learn. Even using the photocopy machine for the first time was a challenge. Phew, now gone were those days. Lucky for me, I have a good support system at my work place.

Everyone was so helpful in the beginning and I slowly picking things up from here and there. Meeting way too many new people (which sometimes I couldn’t recall their names)

from various background expands my acquaintances horizon too. I love listening to their story about how they started working during their young age. It fascinating to know others stories and what had they been through to be at where they are now.

Even after a year of working and at the age of 23, it’s sad to say that I’m not sure what I exactly want in my career. All I know now is I want to earn more and more money. Yes, I’m that money-driven but who doesn’t anyway? It’s a realistic world that we live in after all. Now that I’m getting used to my job, I quite love what I do. The familiarity of my routine has become my comfort zone now. Soon my job scope will be widen and again I have to start picking things up at faster rate. Beginner excuse can’t be used anymore. As much as the idea of confirmation terrifies me, I’m quite eager to take on more things on my plate. Torn much, eh?

I hope it’s okay to still not be sure where I’m going career wise at this age.

P/S: Singapore trip update will be up soon. J

Being Happy

I had been feeling very happy lately, especially early in the morning. I woke up with a super happy mood even with only 4 hours plus of sleep. Miracle! Because I'm never a morning person. I don't know why but I feel super grateful with what I have in my life right now. For once, I'm happy and contented.

I'm happy that I'm still be able to wake up and start a fresh new day.

I'm happy that my hair and make up is perfect when I go to work.

I’m happy that May almost coming to its end. Hello paycheck, hello holiday!

I’m happy that today is my last day working before enjoying my 10 days off work. Awesome!

I’m happy that the bf never fails to crack me up.

I’m happy that I’m going for a trip soon. New place new adventure, all by myself.

Maybe I’m just grateful for everything just because. My whine and rants are sometimes so unnecessary. Those are just some petty issues in my life and don’t even affect me as a whole. Others have more serious issue going on in their life like health problem, family matter or career issue. And mine are just peanut if compared to theirs.

Besides, there are so many good things coming and it is much easier for me to overlook the bad one and focus on the good one instead. Undeniably, I do get upset by some incidents or remark that happened to me. I’d curse and whine but after that I’d just forget about that and move on with life.

It doesn’t take much for one to be happy, honestly. Just count your blessing, your limbs and organs are working fine, you have food prepared for you on the table, you have roof over your head and comfortable shelter to sleep in every night. Your basic necessity as human is fulfilled, shouldn’t you be grateful? I know I am. That’s what I keep reminding myself of.

Maybe that explains the happiness that bursting inside of me. Positive thinking is definitely the best pick-me-up. Try it! Spread the happiness around.

Sorry for the long winding wordy post. Here are some pictures to compensate for that. Taken from my Instagram. Sort of like a pop up version of Instagram picture from my right sidebar. 

Went to yoga the other day and it felt so good to sweat. Sorry I accidentally captured that woman's ass, LOL

Weighted myself and found out I've lost some weight, again.

My very own fettucine carbonara. I made this and been having it twice since last week. 

Got sick of carb, so I made fish porridge one night.

Pino with his new haircut. He's turning 4 this year.