Friday, July 1, 2011

Of thoughts and life

I had been thinking a lot lately. Mostly, it's about life, the purpose of my existence in the world and money. My convocation is confirmed on 23rd October, so my student phase is officially over. I'm no longer a student, not exactly a career woman. This transition makes me feel so lost. I know I should have thought about all this long time ago, but I still couldn't make up my mind.

I don't know which path to venture on. Recently I went on an interview for a job. It is completely a different field, something that I have very little knowledge of. I have a long talk with the manager and he asked me is this really what I want as my career? At that time, I eagerly nodded my head and said it is a good prospect and I can see myself doing well in that field. My confident level was high and I felt good about it.

What if I said that too soon? Being in that field requires me to reach a certain target every month. I like the challenge but can I do it? I was working today (will talk about my part-time job next time) and these thoughts crossed my mind. I hate sticking to the same routine everyday. I came to work and all I did was waiting for the clock to turn 9.30pm so that I can get home. Where's the excitement, the accomplishment,  you tell me?

Well, my part-time job doesn't require any accomplishment anyway. Maybe that's why I feel so useless and start to question my decision and goal. But with that job, it will be a challenge everyday, not a dull and same routine. Definitely something that excites me. But with the bar set so high, can I pull it off? I think I'm rambling way too soon. It is not something that certain yet.

Being trapped in a building for 8 hours really messed with my thoughts and judgement, hence all the doubts. What a great way to welcome July huh? Anyway, cheers to July and hopefully a lot more great news coming soon.

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