Wednesday, July 20, 2011

The perfect pant

I admit it. I have trouble finding the perfect pant/skirt for my working wardrobe. Sometimes even size S is hanging on my waist. So when I found anything that fits perfectly, I quickly snatched it away, thinking I hit the jackpot. That's what happened last Sunday. After church, I went to a boutique just to look around. You know, window shopping.

One thing I like about a new boutique is, I always set my expectation low. Past disappointment had taught me so. But it was different with the new boutique, Momo. I felt like a kid in candyland. They cater just what I need in my size. In the end, I walked away with a top, blazer and a perfect pant.

Guess who's more excited than me about the perfect pant? My mom. Yes, my mom was so excited that she's offering to hand wash it. So I let her. But how I wish I didn't. Somewhere along the washing and drying process, my perfect pant was stained. STAINED! and I haven't even wear it, not even once.

I know I'm being such a drama queen. Most people would argue it is just a small stain and I know my mom was sorry too. She tried really hard to wash away the stain with Varnish but to no avail. I was already upset about something else that evening and finding out my pant was stained just pushing me to the edge. I was furious. A chance for me to stumble upon a pant in my size is like me hitting the jackpot, one over million ratio.

I felt like yelling at my mom but I just couldn't because I know how sorry she was. Another part of me really wanted to throw tantrum and blamed her for everything but another part of me felt sorry watching her trying to save the pant. I was trying hard to not say a word because I know if I did, I would say something nasty. She said she will buy me a new one but I said no harshly, grabbed the car key and left.

I did came back to the boutique to get a new one but as I expected, they only carry one item per size. I was still mad over this but I don't know where to let my anger go. I don't want to snap at my mom because I know she has my best interest and she just want to help me. The anger that she caused me had provoked other hidden emotions inside of me. As I drove away, I can felt every emotions were eating me out. I was angry at someone else and trying really hard to refrain myself from putting the blame on my mom.

In life, not everything will go our way. Sometimes, it easier to find someone to be blamed rather than to accept the truth yourself. Snapping at others will not solve the problem, the only thing you will get from it is the guilt. Finding the scapegoat for your anger does you no good too. As I drove, I recalled everything that upset me and cried my heart out. Now, I'm feeling whole lot better.

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