Wednesday, December 7, 2011

The end

I don't really talk about my feeling and personal stuffs often. Normally, I just keep these things to myself, I found talking to myself is much more comforting than pouring it out to someone else ( I swear I'm not crazy, ok!). But sometimes, I just need to channel these emotions somewhere. I always thought of myself as a commitment freak, I got scared and back off when things started to get serious. Partly because I was hurt before.

Someone once told me I have a relatively short attention-span when it comes to relationship, none of my relationship last long. Truth is, I don't know what went wrong and we're better off without each other. Recently I walked out of my comfort zone, totally letting my guard down. It took a lot for me to get back out there and risk myself getting hurt again. Somehow, I just have to muster my guts and instill the believe that there's a guy whom are meant for me out there.

Everything was great in the beginning. I was smitten and totally got swept away. He really did a lot for me, from our first date and all the effort of commuting back and forth (we lived in different cities) just to see me. I should have seen this coming, when it was too good to be true, something bad is bound to happen in the end. In just one night, my relationship graph dropped much scarier than the stock market. I totally had no idea what was going on. I felt like I was being slapped hard on the face and stabbed directly to my heart.

Ending the relationship is the only way for us. The path ahead doesn't seem promising. The reason behind all the heartache is not something that I can change. It is not even an issue for me, or for anybody in the 21st century as the matter of fact. Well, I can't change my race, can't I? I wouldn't too if I could because I see nothing wrong in it. We all human, all the same, in and out (physically obviously).

The end

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