No string attached

The past few weeks had been rough for me. It was nothing serious, just an internal conflict about my personal life. Moving on is not as easy as it was before. I'd been there last year, it was not easy but I managed to get back on my feet within a short period, if not wiser, stronger. I never allow myself to be buried down far longer than I should. I cried, I mopped, I cursed, I thought thing through and got back on track. No big deal.

This time it is different. I never realized how dependent I am with this person. Anything happened in my life, this person is the first to know and vice versa. We are each other pillars of strength. But lately it had came to term that we're rely too much on each other that it started to hurt both of us. We both need space to grow, to find our own way in life. We tried but when one of us is down, we're back to square one. Maybe I should stop being there for this person and stop running to him whenever something come up. I wish I have the determination. I did it before but why couldn't I this time?

I need to find my own strength, I need to break free or else I'll stuck here forever. No strings attached is suck, I should foresee this long time ago. I was too head strong thinking that I can handle all the emotions. But looks who's tearing up now? Serve me right, eh?

Enough mopping around for myself. There's so much more out there in life that waiting for me to discover. Wonderful experience, colorful journey, etc.. I just need to recollect myself and get back on my feet. Cheers to myself.

Maybe you guys had noticed that my post were all emo these few weeks. I rarely talk about what's really going on in my personal life. I keep everything to myself and buried them in my chest. I'm no superwoman, in the end, everything reemerged and eating me inside out. I couldn't handle everything on my own, thus channeling it through this space. I promise I will be better tomorrow.

Dejavu

The situation feels so familiar. We were introduced and hit it off. I thought I'd gained another group of friend. How wrong was I? Somewhere along the line, I feel suffocated. I feel like I am being cornered.  

But why do I keep feeling like I went through this before? Oh yeah, I did. A year ago, same situation, same circle but different friend.

It's a total dejavu.

I have a lot in my mind right now, still struggling hard to pull things through. Honeymoon is over, it's time for reality check and I really have a lot of prioritize to be done, mentally and emotionally.  

The uncertain spark

It's been a while.
Tonight is one of those nights where I'm feeling down all of sudden.
The feeling is so familiar yet I couldn't tell what's wrong.
Everything is fine, it's just me. Me, my head and my heart.
We argue about almost everything. The head is strong but the heart doesn't seems to follow.
These sappy songs in the background brings back too many memories.
The random talks, the midnight dates, the laughter, the tears.
The missed dates, the silent treatments, the fights, the ignorance.
It bothers the heart.
Then comes the 'what if?'
Neither the head or the heart has the answer.

None of these seem to make sense.
Perhaps a good night sleep is all I need.
Hope the unconscious mind will stop making the vivid dreams.
Good night world.

Favorite week

I only have till next week to hang out/watching movies/shopping/brunch/dinner/lim teh/gossiping with my friends before almost everyone of them flying off to other states/countries for study leaving me here alone. Man, time flies. Their 2 months holiday are coming to end soon. I will miss them dearly. Chances are, I will see them again probably during Chinese New Year 2012. That's freaking 5 months more!

I don't want to get emo like last time where I sobbed like a kid when I had to leave my friends back at Kuching. Just realized that I get attached too easy. Once I made friends, I treat them as friend. But not everyone are worth  my time and energy, just saying anyway cause I felt used way too many times. Lesson learnt, I'll stop giving people my best interest unless they really earn it.

Anyway, here's the highlight of things I had been up to lately.

Moi struggling hard during yoga

Went for hair wash at Re-Move Hair Studio

Lots of brunches date with hubby and lil sis 

Drove all the way to Bintulu for Sushi King because sushi in Sibu is sucks. hehe

Loving the familiar green tea taste

This week is my favorite week cause I have 3 days of holidays. I enjoyed waking up late and doing nothing. I'm such a lazy bum, I know. But mind you, I am rejuvenating myself. LOL.

Before I forgot, Selamat Hari Raya & Happy Independence Day to Malaya (not Malaysia obviously).

Bags, not a glamorous one

Throughout the years, one thing that I notice about my face after camwhoring is my eye. First, it all started with minor dark circle. I blamed the internet/movies/assignments/exams for the dark circle. But lately it got worse. I have a real visible eye bag and my dark circle has worsened too. See it for yourself.

Minor dark circle

One dark circle is bigger than the other one

Or maybe it's my smeared eyeliner, but you can clearly see my eye bag 

Pardon the messy hair, I just got back from work and went directly to dinner.

See! My dark circle cannot be saved already T T

No amount of concealer can cover that. I tried blending lots of concealer but still failed, or maybe it's just my skill sucks. Sleeping early is one of the way but I ermm failed too. Every night when I tried to sleep early but something always came up and required my immediate attention. 24 hours a day is not enough for me. I need more time to socialize, to relax, to sleep etc..

Haih..are there any ways to ease up the dark circle? Anything like food? fruit? Besides getting enough sleep and rest of course, and also skin care. Most of skin care that I'd tried did no wonder. Yeah, my dark circle and eye bags are hopeless.

Brunch at Uncle Dom Cafe

Weekends are my favorite days in the week. Who doesn't love weekend anyway? No work, no waking up early, such a bliss. Last Saturday I need some quiet time to refresh myself, so I brought my lil sis to Uncle Dom Cafe for brunch. I rarely go to Uncle Dom in the day, normally I just went there for lim teh session at night. 

The atmosphere was nice and quiet, just what I thought in mind. Uncle Dom Cafe is an Ipoh Kopitiam-themed cafe. What I love the most about the place is the ambient, it is very vintage and reflects Sibu amazingly through their old vintage pictures of Sibu which are displayed on the wall (but I didn't take any picture of that). The pictures were taken during British colonization era and it's nice to be reminded how Sibu had developed thorough out the era until now.

We picked a seat near the window at the corner

My brunch date

The table with the cushion is my fave spot at night

The cafe was quiet during the day but at night, I sometimes can hear the conversation of people from a few tables away. It made me felt like I'm at Tanahmas (with the crowd and the noise). But being the typical Sibu people, we still chatted away happily and loudly too. Who cares if the people from other tables can hear you? Hehehe, this is so Sibu.

My brunch set. Sambal mee hon with cincau milk. Delicious.

When waiting for our food, we were approached by two men, whom started the conversation by asking are we from other country? Because he said we didn't look like local ='= Then he started to introduce himself, telling us he's from KL and came to Sarawak for mission to help orphanage kids by collecting funds from public. He even showed me articles and pictures of the kids. I secretly think he's bluffing but still donate some money for the charity. For good cause, of course. Well, I hope we were not scammed.

Straight vs curly

VS

A small step towards changes, what do you guys think?