Sunday, September 11, 2011

No string attached

The past few weeks had been rough for me. It was nothing serious, just an internal conflict about my personal life. Moving on is not as easy as it was before. I'd been there last year, it was not easy but I managed to get back on my feet within a short period, if not wiser, stronger. I never allow myself to be buried down far longer than I should. I cried, I mopped, I cursed, I thought thing through and got back on track. No big deal.

This time it is different. I never realized how dependent I am with this person. Anything happened in my life, this person is the first to know and vice versa. We are each other pillars of strength. But lately it had came to term that we're rely too much on each other that it started to hurt both of us. We both need space to grow, to find our own way in life. We tried but when one of us is down, we're back to square one. Maybe I should stop being there for this person and stop running to him whenever something come up. I wish I have the determination. I did it before but why couldn't I this time?

I need to find my own strength, I need to break free or else I'll stuck here forever. No strings attached is suck, I should foresee this long time ago. I was too head strong thinking that I can handle all the emotions. But looks who's tearing up now? Serve me right, eh?

Enough mopping around for myself. There's so much more out there in life that waiting for me to discover. Wonderful experience, colorful journey, etc.. I just need to recollect myself and get back on my feet. Cheers to myself.

Maybe you guys had noticed that my post were all emo these few weeks. I rarely talk about what's really going on in my personal life. I keep everything to myself and buried them in my chest. I'm no superwoman, in the end, everything reemerged and eating me inside out. I couldn't handle everything on my own, thus channeling it through this space. I promise I will be better tomorrow.

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