This Body Is Not Made of Steel

I don't even know what was I thinking when I let my friends put on that body guard on me. ( This body guard is not the security guard type body guard, it's for sparring, to protect your body when opponent kick you). I was really not ready to let myself being kicked nor to kick. Like usual, heart pumping faster, face flushing bright red, knee felt like jelly, I tried to ignore the eyes watching me and focus on my opponent. Pap!! Damn it, her leg came flying toward me. Natural response, I blocked it by trying to kick her and our leg collided. Shit, I really shouldn't do that, I should just move backward. My left leg was seriously in pain. After all, it just endured quite a rough day last week. Three huge bruises with throbbing pain. It hurt so bad when she kicked me but I acted cool. ( control babe, somebody is standing behind me, watching my move..hehehe). I hate fight. Don't get me wrong, okay. Taekwondo is not that violence. It just that I don't like watching people fight just to hurt others. Let alone myself to be involved in such incidents. (By the way, self-defense is a totally different case). But I do enjoy the thrill and the adrenaline rush in the spar. Then again, if the opponent is someone I know, I'll feel guilty for hurting them.I couldn't help but to mumble sorry to my opponent every time I kicked her, even the judge get annoyed and told me I don't have to be sorry. (Come on, I'm not that heartless, she's really in pain). Her last kick totally got me. I cant barely stand well. The friends all were getting nervous for pushing me into the spar. Me and my opponent, we both really got some serious bruises. We're not even that violent towards each others but wrong technique we both got lead to the injury. Really feel guilty to my left leg, it stood all the pain tonight. The already bruise part is getting a new bruise again and my feet is swollen, badly. I had to hide my tears when Yan rubbed my leg. Even now my leg 'berdenyut-denyut'. Haih, maybe I really need to take that painkiller after all. The doctor must had foresee this for he insisted on prescribing me the painkiller. Conclusion: I guess I am fragile. 

See, this body is not made of steel.