If I die young

I never really give death much thought until recently. It's the taboo topic and nobody really discuss it. But today, the thought of me leaving this world behind keep haunting my head. At first, I was freaking out. I'm dead and won't be able to enjoy the rest of my life (I guess there's no more the rest of my life if I already die, right?), leaving behind the people that I love. I won't be able to wake up to another beautiful day, having great meals and laughing and talking with my loved one. No more shopping, no more travelling.

There's nothing left. The only proof of my existence is probably the memories that I left behind with the loved ones.

Thinking about death making me re-evaluate my life. My life may not be as awesome as I want it to be but I'm contented. I achieved some of my goals, I did what I'd been wanting to do, I'd tried what I should try. And I do not regret a single thing. If I'm given the chance to go back in time, I'd make the same decision and do the same things all over again.

The only changes that I would make probably is to be a more positive person. To hate less and love more. There's so many things to love in this world, why bother with the hate anyway. The more I think about death, the less freaking out I feel. I don't know if any of these things that I'd said make sense to any of you, I myself don't even know why I suddenly thinking about death. But I swear, I'm not suicidal, I'm perfectly okay, physically (not quite) and mentally.

It's a shame if I leave this world young, there's so much more that I want to achieve. My dream car, my dream house, my dream family. But nobody get to choose when they want to leave. That's why from now on. I intend to live everyday as if it's my last day on Earth. Just so that I can leave with less regrets, knowing that I'd tick off majority of my to-do-list-before-I-die.

If I die young, I would want a simple funeral, no fuss, no drama. And if possible, no tears. I want my last journey on Earth to be a happy one. I want to be send away with smile and a few pink tulips. I want to be buried at an accessible and open space memorial. So that friends can come visit and talk to me, assuming that they want to visit me.

Just the thought of death makes me appreciate life more. You guys should too. Go tick off the things on your to-do-list. Live with no regrets.