Let's not talk about today paper

I studied only for the sake of exam. Yes, that's my attitude. If there's no examination, you won't see me reading my notes. Back in secondary school, I never feel the pressure of studying, not even during big examination. But in University, the pressures are everywhere. I did studied, I did played my part as student. Whatever happens next, I don't care anymore. I'm tired. I'm tired of everything.

I feel so hopeless now. Apparently, Ecotourism paper didn't killed me enough and now my car starts giving me problem. Something is wrong with the gearbox/plug/whatever that the car need to function. I hate feeling so helpless and I hate it more when I explained it to my dad, I had to hold back my tears. He calmly told me what to do but it only made me wanna cry more.

Sometimes, little stuffs like this crashing down together and I felt like I couldn't hold everything together anymore. All I want to do is just shut myself in my room and cried my eyes out. A little peace in my own zone is all I need. A place where nobody can disturb me.  Don't take me for granted because one day, I will turn my back and not care anymore. Even as a friend, I get tired too. I need my space too. 

Happy Saturday

To do list for today:

• Doing complete revision for my Ecotourism paper.
• Compiling notes for Crop Management paper.
• Adjusting my body clock to normal.
• Jogging.

Happy Saturday peeps. Nothing excited for my weekend as I already treated my whole weekdays as weekend. I'm drained and my body clock is all messed up. Blame the too many late-night-out-till-dawn. Been catching up with friends three nights in a row. Oh, I should start packing too. Dad booked me a flight home for Raya Haji. Yes, my dad is awesome like that. Ok, I need to clean the dishes now. Bye.

Gifts & collections

After my first paper yesterday, I took a day off from studying and reorganizing some of stuffs. It was fun. I stumbled upon some of my forgotten stuffs and it brought back some happy memories. Few weeks ago, I was down due to something and felt totally neglected by my loved ones. Last night, when I was organizing my stuffs, I found my 21st birthday gift package with a printed message from my dad. Then, it hit me. I'm very lucky to have family that love me for whom I am. They put up with my tantrums and bad moods and yet they never love me any less. 

Estee Lauder Travel Exclusive set and Bvlgari perfume set are gifts from my aunt.

Designer Collection from Amway is from a friend and Body Shop White Musk, I bought it myself.

Perfume sample that I took from my aunt.

A girl must-have.

Toiletries that I brought home from hotels that I'd stayed in this year.

Key chains/bracelet/anklet/gifts from friends.

You know what else I found last night? 

Tons of movies ticket that I forgot to throw away.

I found some in my bags, some among the receipts, some in my books.

Well, one conclusion, I'm a cinema addict.

These might be your typical stuffs but each of these brought me my great memories. I like it when I saw, for example, my anklet that I bought with my munyits at one of the shop near waterfront, I remembered the occasion. It was after our final exam in our second year first semester. It was sort of a celebration because we had great time laughing and worrying about nothing after the exam. Each item has a story to tell. A story that I treasured.

Moving on vs holding on

"It's hard to decide whether you should moving on after holding on for so long. The reason that keep you holding on all this time is also the reason why you should moving on. It's tiring to keep on hoping for something that might never come. At least you did tried to play your part and maybe this is it. Nothing more nothing less. Everything much easier this way. You got nothing to lose, except maybe a few tears and heart break along the way. But it did made you stronger, didn't it? Well, that's a gain."

In between

Despite all the hiccups in doing my progress report and trying to study for final exam, I still managed to steal some time to have fun. Well, actually my statement should be like this, despite all the desire to have fun and just enjoy myself, I had to force myself to study. That's more like it.

My progress report for my Final Year Project is really killing me. I submitted it yesterday and boo yah, it was rejected. The reason? My supervisor want it to be in thesis format, like a master thesis. I had been struggling hard to meet his demand but sometimes I couldn't help but wish I chose other supervisor. 

I had been studying in Unimas for almost 3 years and during this period, I can count my visit to CAIS (library) with a single hand. But for my stupid thesis, I proudly announced that this semester, I had been to CAIS for quite a few times till I lost count. Don't get me wrong, I love books and library but not my university library. Too many  unnecessary rules.

Formal education book *yawn*

To kick off the stress of doing the thesis, I took a day off on Thursday, that's when Ik offered to cook lunch for us in our flat. We went to Stutong wet market and done a little food shopping. Our menu was Bak Ku Teh , fried prawn with sauce and eggplant with sambal. Marvellous, we totally stuffed ourselves full. It felt like Sunday because everything was so relaxing.

Yummy much eh?

I shall end this post with a tired looking camwhore picture of me. Lately, I had lost my camwhore mojo, so that shall explain the lack of my self picture.

The face looked dull, blame the stress from thesis writing! 

Study week

Notice the Word documents on my desktop? That's what I had been doing these few days. Writing my progress report and rushing assignments. So much for my study week. I haven't read any notes yet and my first paper starts on 8 November. Please pray for me for my final. I'll start revision once I finish all my work, hopefully by tomorrow.

Wind Cave & Gunung Gading (Part 2)

Here comes the second part of my caving and jungle trekking in Wind Cave and Gunung Gading. Enjoy!

#1 Too dark inside the cave, we had to hold on to each other

#2 The stairwell in the cave

#3 The rocks in the cave

#4 Weird rock formation

#5 Rock vandalism perhaps?

#6 Finally out of the dark

#7 Group picture. We all were sweating because it was hot inside the cave.

Don't get fool by the name, it's Wind Cave but no wind and it was humid too.

#8 Having lunch at Lundu before we move on to Gunung Gading.

#9 Hiking in style. It was raining when we reached there and everything was wet and beautiful.

#10 All sweat and tired.

#11 The simplest trail.

There are not much pictures from Gunung Gading as it was my second time there. Like last time, we only chose the simplest trail because we were only looking for a leisure walk. But we were lucky this time because we managed to catch (hear in my case) the blooming Rafflesia. Why it was hear in my case? Well, the blooming Rafflesia was slightly off the trail and everyone was so excited to see it. I was damn tired after the trekking and not exactly in the mood to push my way with the crowd to catch it. So, all I heard was "wah, it was big" "it was smelly".

*Like usual, the photos are all the courtesy of Angie.