If I die young

I never really give death much thought until recently. It's the taboo topic and nobody really discuss it. But today, the thought of me leaving this world behind keep haunting my head. At first, I was freaking out. I'm dead and won't be able to enjoy the rest of my life (I guess there's no more the rest of my life if I already die, right?), leaving behind the people that I love. I won't be able to wake up to another beautiful day, having great meals and laughing and talking with my loved one. No more shopping, no more travelling.

There's nothing left. The only proof of my existence is probably the memories that I left behind with the loved ones.

Thinking about death making me re-evaluate my life. My life may not be as awesome as I want it to be but I'm contented. I achieved some of my goals, I did what I'd been wanting to do, I'd tried what I should try. And I do not regret a single thing. If I'm given the chance to go back in time, I'd make the same decision and do the same things all over again.

The only changes that I would make probably is to be a more positive person. To hate less and love more. There's so many things to love in this world, why bother with the hate anyway. The more I think about death, the less freaking out I feel. I don't know if any of these things that I'd said make sense to any of you, I myself don't even know why I suddenly thinking about death. But I swear, I'm not suicidal, I'm perfectly okay, physically (not quite) and mentally.

It's a shame if I leave this world young, there's so much more that I want to achieve. My dream car, my dream house, my dream family. But nobody get to choose when they want to leave. That's why from now on. I intend to live everyday as if it's my last day on Earth. Just so that I can leave with less regrets, knowing that I'd tick off majority of my to-do-list-before-I-die.

If I die young, I would want a simple funeral, no fuss, no drama. And if possible, no tears. I want my last journey on Earth to be a happy one. I want to be send away with smile and a few pink tulips. I want to be buried at an accessible and open space memorial. So that friends can come visit and talk to me, assuming that they want to visit me.

Just the thought of death makes me appreciate life more. You guys should too. Go tick off the things on your to-do-list. Live with no regrets.

Short hair (Cheat)

As my friends know me, I'm always the girl with long hair except one time when I had my tomboy hair cut after matriculation. So, when I posted a picture of me with short hair, I got mixed reactions from them. Girls like it, boys were surprise ='=

The most common reaction I got is "Are you okay?" My friends thought something drastic happened to me till I need a make over for myself. I always wanted a short hair before but never really got myself to cut it. This time, I'm determine to have short hair, just now right away hehehe

I'm not sure I can pull this off or not. When I first see myself with short hair, I like it. But now that I see it again, it looks kinda duh to me -__- But my cheat one short hair look real, ain't it? hehehe So here is my plan, I'm gonna keep my hair long till May then slight curl it. When I'm tired of the curl, I'll cut it short . Done!

Okay, you guys probably wonders how I achieve this short hair. It was so easy, not a single effort is needed. Last Saturday, I went out shopping on my own. I've tried more than 15 pieces of clothes at that time. That's probably my highest record in one store. I kept changing from one dress to another until I tried on a dress and looked in the mirror, I saw myself with short hair. Turned out, my hair stuck in the dress and look perfectly like a real short hair. True story, wtf. See, no effort needed.

Some of the dresses and top that I've tried:

Tried on this dress and I got short hair

Love this dress but it was too tight on me

If I lift up my hand, the lace on my shoulder sure tear up.

Feeling nautical

This top is so comfortable and perfect for travelling by flight

Have to lift one of my leg cause floor is filled with clothes 

In the end, I just bought the top and the dress below. It was the same dress from the short hair dress but in black. 

Wore it for The Hunger Game the next day. 

I got horrible sore throat and feeling rather hot since Friday, so I got myself the mo mo cha cha from Cool Dessert to cool myself. Not helping tho cause I sill got sore throat.

So, short hair is yay or nay?

Christmas again

Last year, I joined a mini Christmas giveaway by Nicole from her blog and guess what, I won!

This was actually the second time I won something from Nicole ( thanks for the give away!)

Because I was the first winner, I get to choose which set I want, I felt like I want it all but in the end, I settled with set A.

Set A

My Beauty Diary Vanilla Souffle Face Scrub 50ml
My Beauty Diary Strawberry Yogurt Amino Acid Cleanser 30ml
Eve Taylor Body Oil No.1 30ml
Kose Sekkisei Cream Excellent 15ml

Since Nicole announced the winner on January, I had been anticipating my package but she was busy and only managed to post it few weeks ago. Nevertheless, I'm a happy girl when I had package delivered to me.

I had been using the yogurt cleanser, vanilla souffle face scrub and Kose cream for weeks and I love it. 

Honestly, I don't really know what's the main function of the yogurt cleanser, but it keep my face clean and hydrated. The vanilla souffle face scrub works wonder to get rid of dead skin and leaves my face fresh. I used it twice a week and it is not as aggressive as others scrub because it is it foam form.  I use the Kose Cream to replace my normal moisturizer. It is a bit oily upon application but absorb well into my skin after few minutes, which is awesome because I don't feel oily and greasy afterward.

 I'm not a fan of body oil because I don't like the oily feeling on my body, thus I haven't try the Eve Taylor body oil yet. Maybe I'll try it for massage to get rid of cellulite? (Yes, I have cellulite. fml)

Anyway, if you're keen on review for some skin care and make ups, you can head over to Nicole's blog as she wrote lots of reviews in the past. And she host some give away too from time to time. Who knows you could be the lucky winner next time? :)

A happy me on a happy Saturday despite having slight fever on Friday night -____-

All kind of food in one short weekend

I was going to KL for a short seminar last Monday. Knowing me, you guys should know that I would choose the earliest flight to KL to spend the weekend there. But since it was during the end of school holiday, most flights were fully booked which resulted me transiting in Kuching for one night. However, I don't mind at all. I miss my Kuching friends and it was the perfect time for catching up over simple dinner.

My flight was on Friday evening and I was rushing from work to get to airport. Only managed to grab chicken sandwich at the airport for dinner. Since Sibu airport was under construction, it was rather messy and confusing for me to find the boarding hall by following the arrows.

A loner dinner

My must meet people in Kuching, Angie and Vero fetched me and we went to RJ Ayam Penyet for dinner with the rest of the gang. Had roasted Ayam Penyet with the most delicious sambal but I couldn't finish mine.

These day I found myself keep craving for all sorts of food and I feel like I want to snack all the time. It must be sign for the time of the month, that's why I carried snacks like chocolates in my bag everywhere I go.

Sneak peek into my bag. By the way, I super love my bag organizer that I got from Watson.

I'm never a morning person that why I try my best to avoid morning flight at all cost but this time, I had no escape. Had to take the 7.30 am flight from Kuching to KL which resulted me waking up at 5.30 but it all worth it in the end :) so I'm not complaining.

My English breakfast at Old Town 

Chee Cheong fun

Finally, I got my bubble milk tea craving solved since Taro Milk Tea still unavailable at this time

Dinner at Nando's on Monday night

Ordered a 1/4 grilled chicken with lemon and herb flavor paired with potato salad and coleslaw as sidelines

Not so brave because we didn't order the peri-peri chicken flavor 

-________-

Updated: Answers to the FAQ

Most people that I've met in working life always commented on how young am I to be working at this age. Be it attending seminar, briefing, training or meeting, I'm always the youngest among all and the least experience one. Knowing that I'm coming from a totally different background ( I'm a science graduate), the most popular question I've got is why I choose to work in this field? Why not do something that related to my degree? Next question will be, why not go for government sector? Why didn't you be a teacher? Too many "why this?" why that?" -______________-

Truth is, I never actually plan what I want to do after finishing Uni. All I know is I'm eager to start earning my own money, I mean, who doesn't right? Right after I moved back to my hometown, I'm still have no idea what will come next for me. But one thing is for sure, my dad was slowly stopping my allowance T_T. 

And whoever know me in person should know that I have serious spending habit. I splurged a lot on clothes/shoes/bags/makeup/skin care  girl necessity stuffs, so I know that I need to do something if I want to continue this habit of mine (which I have no intention to stop, pffft).

Maybe I'm money-driven instead of passion-driven in choosing my career. As long as the money keep coming in, I'll be happy. So when those questions were shoot at me, I don't really have answers except for one of the question : " Why didn't you be a teacher?" Well, that's because I don't want to. I don't know why people always assuming that I will be a good teacher and SHOULD be a teacher.

Not that teacher is not a good career or what, it's just that I'm not interested to be one. Maybe I'm not noble enough or maybe I'm too shallow for my own good, but these are the reasons why I don't want to be a teacher:

1. I've spent 12 years of my life from kindergarten until high school attending school. Now that I'm working, I still have to go to school again till I'm 60 years old?? No, thanks.

2. Teachers can't wear nice clothes. I know this is shallow but I love dressing up going to work. I love my dress and skirts. I bet most of my office wears are not suitable for teaching, it's either the skirt is too short or too tight or the top is too sheer. Stupid reason, I know ='=

3. Most people would say teacher is the easiest job, you teach half day and when the school on holiday, you are too. But have you really think that's the only thing that teacher do? Teachers teach half day until school finish in the afternoon, then they have to mark papers/homework, prepare lesson for the next day, planning exam questions, doing extra curriculum activities for students, going for meeting, getting blamed when the students are not improving, getting bullied by the students. That sounds a lot to me. I'm not ready to be blamed for someone future.

4. As a teacher, people will look up to you and set a mentality that you are an angel that never get drunk and fell on the dance floor and absolutely clean from everything. I can't and I'm not. Enough said.

5. I don't want to wake up at 6 freaking a.m. in the morning just to get to school at 7 a.m. I've done that for 10 years and that's enough.

When you're done reading my reasons up there, you probable shake your head and thought to yourself  "what a shallow and selfish girl she is".  Don't be so judgmental, people. This is my personal reasons and since it's my career too, I have the right to be as shallow and selfish as I want. If you still think that being a teacher is really really a good career, why didn't YOU be a teacher? Why keep forcing others? This one is directed to those who keep forcing me.

The reason I came up with this post is because I'm kinda tired of people throwing this question to me. Most of the time, I just smile and tell them I'm not interested. But next time, if someone ask me this question again, I probably will throw a tantrum at him/her.

No offence to my friends that are going to be teacher out there. Everyone has different cup of tea, we have different interest and passion, I'm sure you guys will be a good teacher to lead the young generation. Especially if you're doing it because you love it. I really admire the people who do something because they are passionate about it.Your job should be something that you love, be it the pay or the perks, not something that everyone think you should do.

Update

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I know my reasons may sound pathetic to some people *cough* Batman *cough* but these are my personal reasons. But I think the real reason is I have no passion nor interest in teaching. I get frustrated and give up easily when I myself can't understand something, so how am I going to be a good teacher? What I listed up there are probably just excuses for myself.  I believe everyone has the right to choose what they want to be. It takes a lot to be a good teacher and only the most patience and noble person can pull it off, I respect my teachers because they helped in shaping me for who I am today. Just because I doesn't want to be one doesn't means that I hate nor looking down at those who chose to be one. There's a huge difference, can you tell?

Shall end this post with my new fringe.

Blurry

Last week I went to buy my contact lenses and only to realize I bought the wrong power, FML. My power was 450 & 475 but I bought 425. At first I thought never mind, it was just a small difference. I used 425 before when the power of both side of eyes were 450. But heck, how wrong was I? My vision was blur and I couldn't see the words on banner along the road side unless if I squint my eyes which giving my headache.

So tonight I returned my contact lenses and had my optician checked my eyesight. I suspected that my eyesight had gotten worst and even when I put on my spectacles, I still got blurry vision. Guess what my optician found out? I got wrinkled inside my eyes because obviously I over-abuse my eyes by staring into computer screen for more than 8 hours a day and using contact lenses for almost 12 hours. Thank God he said it wasn't anything serious. 

Must take good care of my eyes if not I will need to put on Harry Potter glass like this

(Please ignore my double chin, thanks)

Life is not fair. I got friends whom growing up playing Dota whole day and yet they have perfect vision. I screwed up a few times by reading under dim light when young and end up with glasses. But I'm thankful that that nothing is serious, it was just short-sighted. Maybe I should start snacking carrots instead of chocolates now. By the way, this year marks the 10th years I had been using contact lenses. 10 freaking years?? Wow, time flies. 

And yeah, my shortsighted increase a little bit. :(

This Means War

I went to catch this movie last week after most of my friends recommending it. And I love it. It was hilarious and totally relatable (in my case). Well, a recently getting married ex-boyfriend, checked! Accidentally caught in between two best friends , umm checked! But fret not, no guns or gangsters are involved and we keep thing platonic. 

Overall, the plot was good but still a bit predictable. It's the jokes that crack me up, I haven't laugh that much or went awww, that's so sweet for quite some times. I think the last movie that made me went all mushy is either Valentine's Day or When In Rome. So, yeah I'm a sucker for comedy romance.

One of things that got my attention when a movie portrayed a career woman is their wardrobe. I absolutely love all of her office wears. I mean, how could you not? She was dressed in Marc Jacobs, Dolce & Gabbana, Burberry, The Row, Parker and so much more. If only I could raid her wardrobe, Monday blues will no longer exist in my career life. Among my favorites are below:

Isn't those pieces a beauty? And her heels too. All thanks to the costume designer, Sophie De Rakoff, I love every single one even though I know I couldn't walk in them. Sigh, I feel like going shopping now but my bank account doesn't agree with me.