Sara 25th Birthday

Last Friday I went out with the girls to celebrate Sara's birthday. I remember I blogged about her birthday here last year. Wow, I really can't believe the year goes by so fast. I means we're all 25 years old now, feel so old yet so I still feel like nothing has changed ever since. 

My ootd for the night

Top: Topshop

Skirt: I only remember I got this at Melaka

The birthday girl

Mee sua was out so we settled for tang hoon 

Fisherman catch

Ceaser's Salad

Selfie with my smudged eyeliner

I haven't put on full make up for a really long time that I kinda lost the skill, not that I have any skills to begin with. Haih..

With le Miao 

The girls

The girls minus yu fen plus hoe

All of us

It was a really fun and filled with laughter night. We talked and talked for 4 hours straight and laughed so loud. Sometimes a company like this is all you need to makes things better. Happy birthday Sara! May all of your wishes come true, especially the first one. hahaha.

Letting go

I rarely write about personal stuff especially when I'm at the bottom pit of my emotion well. I don't feel like talking to anybody because I don't want them to pity me. Writing is probably the way for me to channel all of this emotion else where because I don't think I can hold everything together anymore.

Right now, I really feel like I'm in a rut. A life rut, more like it. The same old routine everyday really wear me out. I remember I had the busiest week at work last month and so stressed out to make sure I'm on top of my game. I did rant to someone but I guess everyone is busy with life to stop and cheer other people up. I tried to control my tears but still I shed but nobody noticed because I wiped them away as fast as I could and put the brightest smile I could manage to cover it.

I thought I was okay. Up till 2 days ago, all of the emotions inside of me burst hence the mess that I'm facing right now. There's only so much that I could take and now I lost it all. I'm tired, really really tired. Where's the pause button in life when I need it so badly. I'm drained out of energy to hold a strong face anymore. I'm not okay, deep down I'm a mess. Too bad I keep everything to myself till the day I burst.

Maybe I'm selfish but there's a reason behind everything. Something triggers me, I hold it back, it continues and I went all out. I've been told I'm fat, selfish and always want to compare. It could be true, I have no excuse for such behaviors. But would it hurt if people take their time out to be there when I need them. It's the support that I need. I have always been independent but it's nice to have a backbone sometimes, to know that someone have my back when I need them, to not feel totally unwanted.

Lots of time this feel like primary school all over again where I'm a total outsider. It's hard to make a point to someone who is on a different page as you because they don't know anything about why you think a certain way.  In their eyes, I could be wrong, the unreasonable girl throwing fit when things not going her way. Let me tell you, what's matter the most to me might means nothing to you. We value different things. I go for quality, you go for quantity. In the end, we blame each other and nobody want to take a step back. That's when I realized we stand on a different page, going different way. I've been told I'm not grateful, am I really asking too much? Yes, I always push myself far forward because I know I can do better. I'm not a settler, I a reacher. I don't want to settle for less if I know I can better. In their perception, I'm not grateful and that is their reality and in their eyes I would be as wrong as I think they are in my eyes. I know all of my words are jumbled up and make no sense but I'm exhausted.

I need a break. To pick myself up, to let go.

What's up

So what's I'm up to lately, you ask? Actually not much also, everything still very same old same old for me but in a good way tho. It's just that I had a tough week at work last week because we're short of manpower and the clients flow was at its peak. Perfect timing, wtf.

But the hell week is over and I'm all bright smile again

For the past two weeks I was on a mission to find a new vanity because I never had one before. I was using my study table for vanity since forever. My study table serves me well still but I really want a piece that makes me feel happy getting ready in the morning. Blame the late night Youtube-surfing, now I'm all into all white vanity with big mirror and lots of storage.

God heard my prayer and I found one that totally ticks all the criteria above and it is within my budget too.


Everyone, meet my new vanity table with a sweaty-just-got-off -cardio me. wtf.

I'm so happy because now I can arrange my makeup and skin care like all those beauty gurus on Youtube always did and also take endless #ootd shots. Now I'm looking for clear storage container to section my drawer and arrange my make up in it.

Something like this la

Then I'll be inspired to organize my stuff neatly and maybe I can do a makeup collection entry. Hahahah So if anyone know where I can get that clear containers (not the cheap one that you got when you tapaoed food last time, ok!), please please let me know. I know Amazon has but they didn't ship to Malaysia.

First ootd for dinner with the bf family

Dress was from Forever 21 and bag from Nose

Comfy outfit for outing

Geek top from unmasqued and short I forgot

The only downside to my mirror ootd is the lighting obviously. Maybe I should install a new fluorescent light or ring light over the vanity. Vain much eh?  

Popular was having another book fair last week and of course I have to stop by to stock up some books although I have more than 20 unread books currently.

So this is my haul

You probably scratching your head when you see "How To Be Popular", I know I'm not 15 anymore but it was by Meg Cabot. I fallen in love with Meg Cabot after I read Size 14 Is Not Fat Either from the Heather Wells series. I tried to find the rest of the series but I guess Popular does not stock that and I have no other book store here. So, I just randomly pick this novel by Cabot.

I went back to the book fair a few times and bought at least 2 novels each time.

Part of my book haul

Weekend also filled with spending time with this cutie

Throwback to sushi dinner.

I'm quite surprise that Sushi Tie managed to up level their menu and almost on par with Sushi King. I think now I prefer Sushi Tie because the ambiance and food. Basically, their sushi nicer.

My sushi partner and he saved my contact as Sushi in his phone ='=

Also I'm so into soup lately that I can have that as dinner or lunch only.

It was the easiest to prepare. I mean you just have to boil everything together and tadaaa lunch is ready. The downside is that I got hungry after 2 hours. 

I bought quite a lot of phone cases too lately (Ops, now you have seen me in my pj)

The obsession with phone case is kicking back for me I guess. I really love all the Cath Kidston cases but the bf said it look grandma-ish with all the floral things. Jeezzz guys, what do they know about what's hot what's not eh?