Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Again you make me smile

Don't know what's wrong with me. I can't concentrate at all today. I'm still on first page of my notes. Nothing seems right right now. It feel like I couldn't care less of this world anymore. I'm tired. Tired of what? I don't know. Tired of being me perhaps. I let procrastination takes over me without any fight. I tried to sleep but ended up laying wide awake with random thoughts in my head. Even surfing the net didn't excites me anymore. Why ah why am I like this? Have anyone come to this point in their life before? Like they feel tired of living in this world as well? Like you are falling into this dark deep hole? And when you see nothing in front of you except darkness.  No hope, no faith, it's nothing at all. I feel useless and hopeless. I'm afraid I can't live up to others expectation. Now I don't even understand why do I care that much about what others thought of me. Isn't this is my life and I can live it the way I want it to be.

Oh, it's middle of the month. The only conclusion that I can come up with is maybe I'm PMS-ing right now. It must be. This roller coaster ride of emotion is the outburst of everything that I had trying to bury. I feel like crying for no reason. But I didn't.

My life is not that depressing actually. Amidst all this emo moment, I found out that *ehem* subscribed to my Facebook status. That's enough to put a smile on my face. This time a genuine smile.  A winner smile like he claimed. Enough of this pitying myself moment, I should get up and start my revision. My study partner is waiting for me to save him. It's good to know that there's some friends whom concerns about me. Thanks all.

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