I wish

Actually this is a late post. It had been in my draft for over three weeks because I had been too busy to post (or simply forget).

As I already starting my new semester this July, it got me thinking that in two years (hope so), I'll be leaving my student life and step into the real world. It scares me as I have to leave my comfort zone and start all over again out there, wherever my career takes me. I haven't decided where to go as I prefer to go with the flow. I see no point in planning the future in details as not everything will go the way you wanted it to be. You got to leave some rooms for changes of plan.

I did stay up at night thinking where I'll be in the next 5 years. The vision that I had in my mind is simple. I see myself as a matured woman who had a career that she loves. She goes to work in her Toyota Camry, dresses in sophisticated dress matches with elegant heels. At night, she goes to dinner with her boyfriend where they share their thought.

Okay, I know my vision for my future is way too perfect. It's a fairytale future, but a girl can always dream, right? So, if dreaming will make her happy, just let her then. As much as I wanted my dream to come true, I can't ignore the reality that hit me. I have to work my way up; it won't be an easy step. First, I have to work on my grade. I'm suck in my last semester but I won't let that happen again. This semester, I will work my ass off and pay attention in class ( texting and a little chat is allowed..haha..I can't go through the class without doing this). I will not study at the last minute (at least try not to) anymore. I know this sentence had appeared in my resolution before, this sentence is like a complusory sentence in my resolution, let it be the new year resolution or new semester resolution, it never fail to make appearance. This time, I'll try very hard, I mean very very hard to keep it. Please keep your fingers cross for me. I'm crossing mine very tight.

By the way, I went to church last Sunday after a year of not going. I forgot how it feel to go the church. Thanks May, for taking me with you to church when in Labuan. I just simply felt happy and my stress and homesick had gone after the service. Thank you God for answering my prayer.

Now, I'm really turning over a new leaf. In the morning, I dragged my ass off my bed even when my heart was screaming for another 10 minutes snooze. My head had make it very clear that sleep in and miss class is a sin that I'm not capable to commit. If you really know me, you will know how hard it is for me. I'm not really a morning person. During my two months holiday, I basically never see the morning sun.

Let's hope the determination stay till the end of the semester. Though, I'm kind of doubt it.