I need Panadol Actifast

This is not an advertorial post. I'm not promoting Panadol here, plus nobody paying me to write ad post. I'm just been attacked by horrible headache right now. Planning to take a nap, but it's 6pm now, my definition of napping is at least 2 hours of sleep. So, if I sleep now, I'll only wake up 2 hours later and how am I going to sleep again after 3 hours later? I wanted to sleep before midnight for the sake of my eye bag. Yup, it's eye bag now, not just dark circle anymore.

Little update of my life:

• I'm back at home now. Feel so good, totally cure my homesickness.
• I have 2 papers and a lab report to do, which will due after my semester break and I haven't start to write yet.
  
• I need to find 2 specimens of plant for my herbarium sample. Anyone want volunteer to find it for me? Come on, raise your hand...
• I have 3 mid term exam next week and I'm only started to look for notes now.
• My hair is in terrible state now. Imma going to rebond it tomorrow.
• I'm crushing on someone. *totally blushing now*
• My head is killing me.....................

I'm a free woman (or is it girl? Whatever)

Finally..
After a hiatus for about 2 weeks...I'm back...for good...hehe..I had been dying to blog abut some stuff like the Jom Heboh thingy and Mila Birthday, but my broadband is not in the same mood as I was. Mr. Vodafone had made it difficult for me to online this two weeks. My friend and family that use the same celcom connection are facing the same problem as I am, so, I blamed it on the slow 3G connection.

This is a very late update about the Jom Heboh thingy. I went there last two weeks with my friends. The road was seriously jammed. One thing that I hate about Kuching would be the traffic jam, it is ten time worsed than Sibu but still haven't reach the KL level yet. We had to park so far way that we have to walk for about 30 minutes to reach the stadium. Since it was quite late, most of the booths there already closed. Lucky my friend, she still got the chance to stash some Silky Girl stuff. Most of the stuff was half price, so it was a good bargain. We didn't stay long at the concert because it was hot and packed with people. Should not stay long at the public place, you know. Got to take precaution step of the H1N1. It's getting serious. A number of students had been infected and quarantined here. Even some institution had been closed due to it. The good news is my friend told me some of the student already recovered. Okay, back to the concert, it was boring too. Maybe because I don't know the artist and I could not see the stage. With my height, I only saw people head.


Mila, carol and me



Hotlink, the main sponsor for the event.


The crowd walked toward the concert area.


Everything damn cheap but I didn't buy b'coz I didn't use Silky Girl.


Last week was Mila 21st birthday. We went to Heritage to celebrate. Heritage is a dining place with buffet steamboat. It was our first time there. The food was good though I personally didn't like the fried rice and the choice of food for steamboat was too little I think. It was put in a freezer and they filled it with almost the same meat like marinated beef with two differ spice i think. Then, there were fish, squid and steamboat must have: all kind of balls like crab, fish, beef but no pork. It is a halal place.

Though the food was okay for me, but I was stuffed like hell b'coz of the cheese cake. One slice of cheese cake is totally enough to make you full for the rest of the night. Believe me, I'm speaking from experience. I had known Mila for 3 years now. This was the third birthday that she celebrated with us. May her wish come true. Happy belated birthday dear.
Pardon the poor quality of the pic, I forgot to charge my cybershot that night.



The beaming birthday girl.


Say cheese



Cheers to the woman/girl or whatever..



The pot for the steamboat too small i think.



The lighting in Heritage made our pic more worse.
Carol, me, mila,abang,amy and harold (the tauke for that night)


All stuffed and full.

In the same week, my lil sis joined some sort of pageant in her school (my alma mater). It's not the normal pageant because they wore the Iban traditional clothes. The pageant was for the Ngiling Bidai event which marked the end of Hari Gawai. She lost only due to incomplete costume. But I give the girl A+ for the effort.


Lil sis is the fair one, the one with the red furry ball thing.
Next to her is the winner.






P.S: This is the result of boredom during lecture.


Warning : Don't do this in class.


P.P.S: I hate heat wave and the haze. God, please let it rain all day and all night long.

P.P.P.s: I'm coming back home next week. Can't wait.

I'm the senior

When I woke up this morning, it hit me that today is Wednesday already. This week really past in a blur for me. I was so busy this week yet I feel so energized. I begin to like my daily routine here. My daily routine is basically attending classes, watching drama, reading novel, doing assignment and hangout with my friends. I'm quite proud of myself. I haven't cut any classes in this whole three weeks. I think the major reason for that is my schedule. Most of my classes start at 9, unlike last semester where everyday I had to wake up at 6.30 in the morning. Most people whom know me know that I'm not a morning person. I have to drag my ass off my bed every morning. So, my full attendance in this three weeks is a major accomplishment for me. I can't believe I'm going to say this, I'm actually enjoying most of my classes. Duh, I'm sound like a nerd. But really, I like going to class everyday, it is fun. Plus, my lecturers are very funny and I like the way they teach.
Hopefully I can get dean list this semester. I'm gonna work my ass off for that.

Last Sunday, I had orientation in Pasir Pandak with my junior. It was fun. Last year I was the junior but this year I'm the facilitator for them. Most of the juniors are graduate from matriculation, I even recognized few of them. Sadly, none of them greet me.



Having mee hun as breakfast in the bus.


Reach Pasir Pandak in bas sekolah.



This activity called Mencari Telur Penyu.
It was fun to watch the juniors digging through the sand to find ping pong balls.
Haha..I did this last year.


This one called Istana Puaka. I didn't joined them for this game because it was too hot.
I was busy doing this.




I read the paper under the tree.


Pic of the girls.
Grace, me, steph, bern and vero.


It was really hot. I afraid the sunblock alone could not do the job.
That's when the sweater came in handy.


Group picture for the day.



After more than two weeks of heat wave, it finally rain last night.
I love this view from my window.



I hung out near the bridge yesterday watching people kayaking.
My evidence of sleep deprivation is showing. My eyes dark circle had worsen.

I did tried to sleep early every night but failed to do so. I got so many things to do (more like so many temptation that I can't resist), and so little time.
The truth is I feel busy and overwhelming. But I don't know what am I busy with. Classes? Assignment? Taekwondo training? College activity?
Maybe those are the reason behind my fatigues. My hectic lifestyle.
Got to arrange my priority and start living a healthy lifestyle. Hope so.
Ciao, wanna start writing my term paper about soil ecological function now.

PS: I'm going to the Sure Heboh thingy this Sunday.

To Mr. Clueless whose last name is hopeless

My perfect happy mood had been ruined by Mr. Clueless. I don't know why I end up with such a clueless guy. I did it again, I made decision based on my current feeling without second thought. But, how am I suppose to know that you are so #$@$%^. I had made it clear that I had tried to get you to understand me better but you just don't get it. Every time I came out with any topic with the hope to pick up your interest or try to understand you better, you completely changed the subject, leaving me with nothing to talk about. You had repeated the same question and subject everyday. Even I know what did you write even before I open your text. It's the same thing everyday. You are so predictable and boring.

You told me how much you like me but I did not felt that way. Obviously, our mind are not on the same frequency, you don't understand what I told you or you are pretending not to understand. I don't see the point of two people claiming to be together but obviously had no clue about each other. At least, I had played my part. I tried to reach out to you but you yourself didn't realize that you are hanging on the cliff, it's only a matter of time before you fell down. I had wasted enough time holding you to keep you from falling down. It's time for me to let go, I'm tired of saving you, I'm tired of saving the relationship that obviously will not working out. But I'm not sorry.

Yes, I'm not sorry.

Actually, it's a relief for me to let go. I'm better off without you.

I wish

Actually this is a late post. It had been in my draft for over three weeks because I had been too busy to post (or simply forget).

As I already starting my new semester this July, it got me thinking that in two years (hope so), I'll be leaving my student life and step into the real world. It scares me as I have to leave my comfort zone and start all over again out there, wherever my career takes me. I haven't decided where to go as I prefer to go with the flow. I see no point in planning the future in details as not everything will go the way you wanted it to be. You got to leave some rooms for changes of plan.

I did stay up at night thinking where I'll be in the next 5 years. The vision that I had in my mind is simple. I see myself as a matured woman who had a career that she loves. She goes to work in her Toyota Camry, dresses in sophisticated dress matches with elegant heels. At night, she goes to dinner with her boyfriend where they share their thought.

Okay, I know my vision for my future is way too perfect. It's a fairytale future, but a girl can always dream, right? So, if dreaming will make her happy, just let her then. As much as I wanted my dream to come true, I can't ignore the reality that hit me. I have to work my way up; it won't be an easy step. First, I have to work on my grade. I'm suck in my last semester but I won't let that happen again. This semester, I will work my ass off and pay attention in class ( texting and a little chat is allowed..haha..I can't go through the class without doing this). I will not study at the last minute (at least try not to) anymore. I know this sentence had appeared in my resolution before, this sentence is like a complusory sentence in my resolution, let it be the new year resolution or new semester resolution, it never fail to make appearance. This time, I'll try very hard, I mean very very hard to keep it. Please keep your fingers cross for me. I'm crossing mine very tight.

By the way, I went to church last Sunday after a year of not going. I forgot how it feel to go the church. Thanks May, for taking me with you to church when in Labuan. I just simply felt happy and my stress and homesick had gone after the service. Thank you God for answering my prayer.

Now, I'm really turning over a new leaf. In the morning, I dragged my ass off my bed even when my heart was screaming for another 10 minutes snooze. My head had make it very clear that sleep in and miss class is a sin that I'm not capable to commit. If you really know me, you will know how hard it is for me. I'm not really a morning person. During my two months holiday, I basically never see the morning sun.

Let's hope the determination stay till the end of the semester. Though, I'm kind of doubt it.

Another summer day has come and gone away...

I wanna go home...
Here I am in my room crying my eye ball out on a Saturday night because I am terribly homesick. After 3 years study outside and being away from my family, I thought I was strong enough to be on my own. How wrong was I. Right now I feel stupid and helpless. I feel totally alone, even the boyfriend don't know how to make me feel better. He only make me feel worst. My friend is struggling with words to make me feel better. The only effective way to lift my spirit is going home.

My next trip home will be on September. That's two months away. Fuck the time, why pass so slow. Fuck you. I can't go back on my mid sem break because I have one week field trip. Screw everything, I just want to go home.

Why I still feel all alone albeit the fact that I have tons of friends around me? The truth is I don't feel fit in here. My body is perfectly here, but my soul is missing along the way. It's looking for way home, where it feel totally warm and secured.
My friend told me to cry tonight but tomorrow will be a fresh new day, just like the sun shine after the rain. I hope he is right.

I really hope so.

A little Sneak Peek

It's Friday night, and guess what I'm doing?

Ta Da.....





Blogging, of course. I mean what else could I do when my transport is limited. Don't ask me why my pillow sheet didn't match me bed sheet.


The first week of my semester past in a blur. Only certain classes had started and we had not been bombarded with assignment yet. But classes is not what had drained me. It's a process when you move into a new room and had to carry all of your stuffs from ground floor to third floor via stair and try to squeeze them all into your tiny room. That's what had drained me and made my muscles sore. When I first moved in, my room looked like this.



I told you, my room is tiny. I was standing at the door when I took this pic.




View of my study table.


Personally, I don't like my study desk. It's way too small. Really really small. I mean when I put my laptop on the desk, I won't have any space left to put my book and paper, then how am I going to do my work if like that leh? (I don't know why suddenly I have this Chinese slang). My fave study desk is the desk in my matriculation. It's so spacious even two person can share it. Plus it has top shelve where I can put my books and other stuff. I know you won't believe me. Let's the pic speak for itself.



Just ignore my ugly face. See..it's so spacious that I could put my fave pillow on the desk and still study comfortably.


I wonder why everything in my Uni are so small. Even the bed is smaller than a standard single bed. See it yourself.



Please ignore the stain. I know it's gross. I don't want to lie down at night and think about those stain.


The stuff that you see from pictures above are the stuff that I brought from home. Stuff that I left in Kuching was still in my aunt's house. I only got all of my stuff the next day. That's the day when I got my sore muscles. After three trips up and down the stair carrying those loads, this is what I got in my room.



It filled the only empty space in my room.


Actually there were some more stuff that I could not fit into the room. So, I had to put those in the living room. Those stuffs included my printer, my pails, boxes of random stuff and etc.
It took me two days to unpack some of my stuff. Though some of it still remain in the boxes because I don't know where else to put it. My closet is totally full and I have no other furniture in the room.



The bedside view.


When you have no extra furniture for your stuff, you just have to be creative. That's when my box came in handy. I transformed it to be my bedside table. Note to self: Survey some cheap bedside table. I really need a bedside table because that basically where I toss my stuff before I sleep. You can expect me to sleep my phone and novels, don't you?




The remain unpack boxes.




Lucky I'd just empty my laundry basket.



I wonder why my umbrella always end up missing. That one is the third one that I'd bought in one year period. My friend lost my first umbrella which is my fave one because it was strong enough to get me through the storm. So, she bought a new one for me which end up missing. Actually I left it in my friend apartment, but it was gone when I came back for it. Let's hope this one stick around with me.

Now that I have all of my stuff in my room, it started to feel like this is my second home. It does help me with my homesickness. It's very comfortable because now I don't to share it with other people and give me enough privacy. And most important is it gives me chance to learn to live on my own.